As the author of a book about ghosts who play poker and drink beer, my new friend, Paul, who I discussed in my previous article about superstition in poker naturally thought I would be interested in his experience about his Ouija Board. Paul is a most impressive man. He caught my eye, because he was wearing a Ryne Sandberg Cubs jersey, so we started talking quite a bit. In as much as I drive people crazy with my incessant chatter about The Trained Ghost Gimmick, I welcome the conversation, but he had an ulterior motive more devious than my own.
He wanted to pass on the curse. Like the successful used car salesman he had once been, he talked me into taking that Ouija Board off his hands. It was just like selling your soul for a free beer, only there was no paperwork or blood signatures required to complete this transaction. There were also to be no trade-backs. He cornered me Tuesday night, which is ironic, because I’m usually the one doing the cornering with my incessant drivel. He was getting ready to enter the satellite for the upcoming $180 event in May. I already have two entries won, so I was playing Omaha high-low split. He asked me to go with him to his Rav4 and pick up the Ouija Board, along with books on witchcraft and black magic. As we walked he told me how a Pittsburgh Steelers helmet fell off the wall and narrowly missed hitting his head when he went to retrieve the items from his shed. Then he walked with me to my RAV4 hybrid, where we carefully placed the mysterious objects in my vehicle.
I resumed my Omaha High-low game and promptly. I made 4 Jacks when the board produced 3 Jacks by the river. Giving me quads. Since the hand had been check all the way down, and there was a straight on the board, I couldn’t bet with confidence, being first to act the whole way through the hand until the river. I checked my quads. Sure enough, Taunting Tommy, who cracked my Aces with pocket 3’s a few weeks back in a Hold’em tournament took the bate, and bet his pocket Queens that made him a full house. I raised, he called, and I showed the quad Jacks. Poker Mike, as he refers to himself commented to me quietly, “You didn’t have to do him that way.”
“I just got me a Ouija Board,” I growled and bared my teeth, “The board made me do it!”
After getting those quads, I don’t know if I got more than a quarter of a pot the rest of the night. I didn’t even play til midnight. I left a $140 loser for the evening telling players and staff to watch for the news reports about traffic fatalities involving a Rav4 hybrid. I made it home and then back for the Wednesday afternoon $120 tournament. Instead of leaving the board and books in the hybrid, I brought the items into my room, and placed them in my closet.
At the tournament, Paul and I discussed the events surrounding the Ouija Board, and my Omaha game. As players were eliminated, Paul was at my table. The Ouija Board was discussed a lot. Paul was eliminated before me. To my left was Melissa. She started preying on various men’s chips. I tried to bet into her for 5,000, and she went all-in. I folded, licking my wounds. She proceeded to win a huge 26,000 pot, crippling one, then eliminating another. Thankfully, I was moved to another table, but I was down to 7,000 chips with the blinds 1,600-1,600-800. Talking about my Ouija Board incessantly, under the gun, I had to make a stand. Short-stacked and desperate, I moved all-in with Queen-8 suited in diamonds. I was called in 2 spots, made my flush, and tripled up with 12 players left.
Then I caught Ace-King unsuited, and just called a raise from Hue, a Vietnamese guy who played aggressively. I caught my ace and moved all in. He called with a King high flush draw. The river and turn missed his flush, leaving him short-stacked. We got down to one table, then down to 8-handed when Poker Player Ray had his pocket Queens cracked by pocket 9s. An older gentleman in the 5 seat, who carried himself like a made mafia don, raised it to 5,000. I had Ace-King, so I called. We were one out of the money. Then Hue in the large blind went all-in. He had rebuilt his stack to even bigger than my own. I waited for the don to act, and he took some time to think before calling. I throw away my Ace-King, because we were on the bubble. The cards were turned up. The don showed pocket Queens. Hue showed suited Ace-King in spades, almost the same as me. Hue caught a King. If I would have moved in, I would have split the pot with Hue, but I didn’t want to go out on the bubble with Ace-King. TJ Cloutier whose books I read, and who I was on TV with, when I got paid $5,000 at the Shooting Star tournament in San Jose in 2004 for eliminating him, wrote that Ace-King had been dubbed the ‘walking home from Houston’ hand, because so many guys lost their luxury cars with Ace-King. With the Ouija Board in my possession, I probably would have survived the hand, but suffered a heart attack in the process. I wouldn’t have had to walk home, but I might have needed an ambulance ride to the hospital.
Perplexed by which hospital I would have chosen if I had suffered a heart attack, when we got down to 7 people. We all agreed to to do a save for the 7th place finisher by talking $120 off the top 2 places. I was in the large blind. I verified that 7th place would be paid before looking down at my King-Queen off-suit. The guy to my left, a highly competent tournament player at the Pensacola Dog track who keeps giving me different names, because he’s concerned I might write about him, called my raise after limping in under the gun. I’ll just call him Kenny Rogers, because he looks just like him, except that he shaved his beard. The flop came with two Jacks. I moved all-in, not expecting him to have a hand he would call with after limping under the gun. “Oops!”
He had Ace-Jack, and I got $120. My compliments to Melissa, Justin, Kenny Rogers, the don-like guy, Hue, and John, who not only outlasted me, but had to spend time within earshot of me. So, the question remains did the Ouija Board affect my luck? That remains to be seen. According the current list that may be outdated. As of Sunday, April 12th. I am ranked number 1 in points for player of the year at The Pensacola Dogtrack. So I’m going to test the theory. I won’t pray to it or any demons. Nor will I use it. I might read the books I was given, because I am interested in the paranormal, but I will keep playing tournaments, and see how I do. I don’t believe my health will be affected. I’ve had a stroke, but I feel my stroke saved my life. My friend, Jeff Harris, who was my guitar player in The Cemetery Surfers, and fellow paranormal investigator described me as an open minded skeptic. So, let’s see what happens.