That was a clear tell by Lethal Kathy. For those unfamiliar with poker, a tell is a cue that may give a clue as to when someone is bluffing or betting with a strong hand. I played at the World Series of Poker in 2025 and bet into famed Actor James Woods. He said, “I know by your tell you have a strong hand, therefore I fold.”
I think I was bluffing that time, but I doubt he could have beat my bluff. So, what was Lethal Kathy’s tell? She made a comment about my handlebar mustache. She said my left handlebar was drooping. It wasn’t a tell about her poker hand. It was a tell about the future. I ended up writing an article about a tournament in which I played against both her and her husband, Bob. I nicknamed her Lethal Kathy, because she is really good and we’ve had our battles. She read the article, and Bob made a hilarious AI assisted video about that. He emailed it to me. I’ve added his videos to my blog. In the video is an AI version of her saying, “I’m Lethal Kathy and I’ll cut your effing throat.”
In the back ground is the word Lethal in red dripping paint. Below that is the word Kathy in white dripping. She’s holding a bloodied knife in her right hand, and an Ace-King in the left hand with a sinister smile. To her left, behind her is a man with a black handlebar mustache, black glasses, and a mouth open in trepidation. Behind her, to her right, is another man, mouth gaping in horror. The video is hilarious. I could complain that my mustache is red, whereas the fellow who represents me has black hair, but I’m thrilled that the rendition of me has hair on top of his head. My publisher made an AI version of me with a red handlebar mustache for the trailer for my book, Trained Ghost Gimmick. When I asked why they couldn’t give me hair in the video they produced, they told me they can’t work miracles, but Kathy’s husband, Bob, worked the miracle of giving me hair, and I thank him.
I have developed a reputation for writing about the people I meet at the Pensacola Greyhound Track in poker tournaments. For some it’s the books I’m writing on, others the blog, and for some, it’s both. In fact, I have developed a new condition called double Ray vision. People hear me talk about Poker Player Ray in my blog who I attribute insults to in Trained Ghost Gimmick, but there’s another Ray. Some say there’s a Good Ray and a Bad Ray, but they both claim the moniker of Good Ray. So, it’s up to me to demonstrate how the keyboard is sharper than the pocket Aces. They allowed me to get a picture of them for the blog. The man on the right is who I have called Poker Player Ray. The man on the left is who I shall call Sincere Smiling Ray, because I never see him without a smile. Poker Player Ray only smiles when he insults me or knocks me out of a tournament, so I will call him Sinister Smiling Poker Player Ray. Sinister Smiling Poker Player Ray commented, after I folded a hand in response to a big bet, that the guy ‘Marked’ me implying that the guy bluffed me the way I bluff others, which brought out a sinister smile from Ray. I have to like a guy who gives me good writing material.
Now, let me conclude by telling you that I am on a tournament losing streak. I have failed to cash in 9 straight tournaments. Before the streak started, I had cashed in 4 straight events. Before the 4 consecutive wins, I had lost in 11 straight. It’s a streaky game when it comes to tournaments. I liken it to baseball. If you get a hit in 30% of your at bats, you are an All-star and a candidate for the Hall of Fame. Just making the money counts as a hit for me, but it is streaky. I keep track of my every session in poker.
So, in my last tournament, I sat down for my second buy-in of the Wednesday $120 event. Familiar faces at the table included Sinister Smiling Poker Player Ray and My Anonymous Nicknamer who declared me Snarky Mark. With my stack of chips starting to dwindle, I decided to move all-in with an Ace-high diamond flush draw. The high card on the flop was a Queen. My Anonymous Nicknamer faded my bet without hesitation. He had Ace-Queen. I missed my draw. He didn’t express any sympathy. He didn’t even ask me to drive safely home, but this was revenge for him. On the day he called me snarky, I had called his raise from the blind with a 6-2 suited. The flop hit with two deuces, and I cracked his pocket Aces. Today, to him, was an injustice avenged, and I told him as much as I congratulated him. Matt was the dealer, and I had told him earlier, “You’re in my book.”
After failing to hit my flush, I told him, “I’m going to kill your character in my book!”
He laughed, but he does make it his mission to eliminate players from tournaments. His character has a sadistic role in my futuristic gladiator book, but now I’m planning his death at the hands of a bacterial infection called something like Uranus Pacmaniasis Bungholius, a flesh eating bacteria of the bunghole, which brings me to Full Bladder Bob, and his second AI video. In the video, he has my head coming out of a book titled URINE MY by Mark Blah Blah as a guy with a black handlebar mustache that has a suspicious yellow liquid poured on him at a poker table as he says, “You’re in my book. I’m going to call you Full Bladder Bob.” Everybody laughs. I’ve watched that video so many times. Bob is a man of few words, but many AI talents. He’s also in Kathy’s book as a pet dog. I’m still reading it, but I intend to send a copy to my grand-kids, because it’s a children’s book. The only reason I don’t mention the title of her book here is because her potential readers might not want to stumble onto an article the discusses poker, urine, and bunghole eating bacteria named after Pacman.